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Do Dildos Hurt?

Not everyone has experience with sex toys. And those who don’t, oftentimes, have a lot of questions. One question I’ve heard a great deal when selling sex toys to women is, “Do dildos hurt?” And my answer is always, “Yes and no.” which then leads to further questions on my part. For example, is she a virgin, how many partners has she had, how long has it been since she was sexually active?

So, I am going to tackle the question, “Do dildos hurt?” in the same way I would if I were counseling a woman on which dildo to buy. I will go over the yes and no aspects of a dildo causing discomfort and offer tips on the best positions to use a dildo for maximum comfort.

Will Using a Dildo Hurt?

If you’ve never owned or used a dildo before, you may be asking. “Will using a dildo hurt?” I can say with certainty yes, no and maybe. The reason for this is that all women have varying experiences with penetration. Plus, dildos come in all sizes and shapes and may be different than what you are accustomed to.

Finally, for most all women, if we’re not relaxed and aroused, using a dildo can hurt, especially if we aren’t properly “wet” – either naturally or via using a lubricant. Therefore, the number 1 tip I give, when I’m asked if dildos hurt, is to suggest a proper lubricant so the toy slides easily and doesn’t cause pain.

Do Dildos Hurt Your First Time?


If you’re a virgin, I’m sure you’re wondering, “Do dildos hurt your first time?” Unfortunately, any type of penetration from a penis or dildo will likely be uncomfortable, if not a teeny bit painful, your first time. This isn’t anything to fret or freak out over as it’s 100% normal. Will penetration always hurt? That’s the best part! No, it won’t! It gets better and better!

If it didn’t get better and more comfortable, the population of the world would come to a screeching halt.

In the end, just remember that time, experience, relaxation and arousal all play in key role in comfort when it comes to penetration. And, whether it’s a dildo or a penis, your vagina will grow accustomed to the feeling.

How to Use a Dildo for the First Time

For the sex toy newbies as well as those ladies that may want to know how to use a dildo for the first time, I have an acronym that works perfectly. RACE:

  • R: Relax. Take your time. Get in a comfortable, cozy position and in a place where you know you won’t be interrupted. Lock the door, if you can.
  • A: This stands for arousal. Find a way to get yourself in the mood to masturbate. You can do this by reading a racy romance novel, watching a sexy movie or viewing soft porn.
  • C: C stands for clitoris. Rub it. Play with it. The clitoris holds so many important nerve endings that allow us to become aroused and to experience orgasm.
  • E: Now it’s time to explore. Once you’re aroused, you can explore your body with the dildo while stimulating your clitoris, playing with your nipples etc.
Use a good, water-based lubricant.

Some other tips to help when using a dildo for the first time are to use a good lubricant so the dildo slides in and out easily. Personal lubricants can be purchased at most drug stores or big box stores.

Next, you can use pillows to prop yourself up or to hold your sex toys in place. Finally, I would suggest a dildo with a suction cup bottom so you can use it in and out of bed in various positions.

So, will using a dildo hurt? Not if you follow the RACE and the other tips above.

Remember, take it slowly and never force things. If it’s uncomfortable, stop, RACE and try again.

Best Positions for Using a Dido

Whether you are an experienced, sexual being and just using a dildo for the first time or a newbie altogether, here are some of the best positions for using a dildo. Further, these positions help a great deal if you’re wondering if using a dildo will hurt – as some postions allow for more control than others.

Now, our Bed Bible model BeBe will show you the best positions for using a dildo.

Using a Dildo Lying on Your Back


This position for using a dildo is the easiest and most comfortable. It allows you access to your breasts and clitoris while being able to penetrate your vagina using a dildo. This is also a great position for using a vibrator, clitoral stimulator or a multi-function sex toy.

How to Use a Dildo Sitting Up


The next position I suggest when using a dildo is by sitting up. You can sit on the edge of your bed, on a chair or on the toilet – just be careful not to drop your sex toy! This seated position allows for easier penetration and easier access. Just be sure you are aroused and ready to go beforehand.

Using a Dildo Doggy Style


This position for using a dildo is a little more difficult to do depending on how long your arms are and how short your torso. If it’s too difficult a position for you to achieve, the Liberator company makes some incredible pillows that hold your dildo in place, allowing for hands-free, comfortable masturbation.

And free hands mean you can stimulate your clitoris at the same time.

How to Use a Suction Cup Dildo

Suction cup dildos are great sex toys for women in that you can use them for masturbation positions as above. Or, you can use them hands-free by sticking them to the floor, bathtub, headboard or wall. The advantage to using a suction cup dildo is that you can control the depth of penetration, depending on the position you’re in.

BeBe has a step-by-step illustration on how to use a suction cup dildo.

  1. Get on your hands and knees – or elbows and knees – with the dildo stuck to the floor and even with your bottom side.

2. Rock backward and allow the dildo to penetrate you shallowly. This position is fantastic for stimulating your g-spot, which is just a few inches inside of you and on the front wall of your vagina.


3. Once you are thoroughly aroused or, if you just want deeper penetration, you can move back into a seated position on your knees. This gives you complete control over the depth of penetration while allowing you to stimulate your breasts and clitoris at the same time.


Using a Dildo Comfortably

Yes, using a dildo for the first time can be awkward and it may be a bit uncomfortable. However, if after using all the tips above – choosing the right toy, RACE and the proper lubricant – you’re still experiencing pain, it is wise to make an appointment to see a gynecologist. This is important for your sexual health and to rule out any physical problems you may have.

Masturbation should be comfortable and a way for you to relax, learn about your body and relieve everyday stresses through reaching climax. Therefore, take your time, get comfortable with masturbating and stop worrying if using a dildo hurts. Before you know it, you’ll be a masturbation queen and ready to buy more sex toys!

Here are some dildo types you might want to consider:

  • Remote controlled dildos
  • Realistic dildos
  • Discreet dildos
  • Vibrating dildos
  • Ribbed dildos
  • Glass dildos
  • Small dildos
  • Silicone dildos
  • Best dildos for beginners
  • Rotating dildos
  • Curved dildos
  • Thrusting dildos

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